It’s a beautiful sight to see old couples doing an activity together as simple as taking a stroll. You couldn’t help but be amazed whenever you see a couple celebrating their golden anniversary, as this means that they have definitely stood the test of time and patience. These days, it is unfortunate that you rarely see couples lasting for several years, even when at the onset they were seen to be the strongest pairs ever.
So yes, if you think that your current relationship is the one for keeps, then you must know how to make it last. Below are 8 ways that may help:
Communication is key to every long-lasting relationship. Don’t always assume they know what you are thinking. Couples are meant to speak to each other and should feel free to air out their opinions concerning matters as they arise. It is not all the time you will agree with your partner. You must learn to disagree amicably without forcing your ideas on your significant other or vice versa.
Discuss and keep updated with each other’s personal goals. You should have a partner who believes in your dreams, and you support theirs as well. This creates a bond that helps to keep the relationship alive.
2. Acknowledge Each Other’s Strengths and Weaknesses.
The more time you spend with your partner, the easier it is to see what they are really good at and also what they suck in. Stay calm. Now is not the time to focus on just their strengths and pretend that their weaknesses do not exist or vice versa.
It is in your best interest to that both of you acknowledge those aspects that you are good at and what areas need some work. As a couple, help each other in the areas you can rather than using constant criticism or outright denial. By doing so, you get to inspire each other into becoming better partners and better individuals, thus allowing your relationship to grow.
3. Think Outside Your Box
This life consists majorly of every-day routines. If not careful, you and your partner will end up letting boredom have its way in your relationship.
Going out of your usual couple’s routine helps a lot in cheering up your relationship. Surprise each other. Travel to places you’ve never thought about, learn a new skill together, and try different things that can spice up your bond. Adding the element of spontaneity in your relationship will help you both look forward to a long-lasting time together.
4. Learn Each Other’s Love Language
The ways we express and receive love are often times overlooked or misunderstood by a couple. This usually leads to strain the relationship. In his book titled: The 5 Love Languages – The Secret To Love That Lasts, Gary Chapman goes into details as to what the 5 love languages are about. They are: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch.
Find out what gets your partner excited by showing them love through the love language that resonates with them. You may want to write a letter to your partner saying how much you love and appreciate their efforts (words of affirmation), wash their car (act of service), give them a surprise gift (receiving gifts), go on a dinner date (quality time), or give them a massage after a stressful day at work (physical touch). These simple acts will go a long way in setting the atmosphere to be right in your relationship.
5. Respect Their “Me” Time
It has now become a common thing for couples to do just about everything together without giving each other some “me” time. You must learn to respect each other’s personal space and get some time away from each other to allow yourselves time to think, reflect or spend time with other people.
You tend to value your partner more when they are not always in your face. Spending time away could be as simple as spending the weekend with another family member or close friend, going for an evening stroll alone or even hanging out with your friends on a Friday night. When you return, you would have had been missed by your partner. So don’t wallow over your time apart. Think of it as your time to grow individually, but still be together in heart and soul.
6. Touch Each Other
Did you know it is very possible to communicate with your partner without speaking? Touching is a form of non-verbal communication that could involve holding hands, hugging, kissing, or even rubbing their back.
Touching is also a way of comfort, as releases feel-good endorphins every time you give your partner a pat on the shoulder, a squeeze in the hand, or a kiss on the forehead. The feeling of assurance brought about by touching is powerful enough to heal wounds brought by harsh words and arguments you’ve had with your significant other earlier during the day.
7. Avoid The Blame Game
Continuously blaming each other for things that have gone wrong can be demoralizing and can also lead to a breakup. You can identify what went wrong without always pointing fingers. Rather, focus your mind and energy on possible solutions to the problem that is still staring you both in the face.
You may want to talk things out with your partner and see the brighter side of things. Discuss your takeaways and lessons learned from what you think are mistakes and mishaps, and find ways to compromise. This way, it would be easier to solve problems, as it brings positive energy to the relationship and builds trust.
8. Listen First
Lastly, when working towards a long-lasting relationship, you should be always willing to listen. You not only hear your partner’s voice but also eliminate the room to make assumptions and draw false conclusions on a certain matter. It can be very easy to make wrong choices when working with wrong information.
When you listen, you not just take into account your partner’s side, you provide time and patience to digest what they are saying and understand where they are coming from.